at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
