You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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