Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
