My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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