is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
