gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
