You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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