Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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