Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
