You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
