You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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