singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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