Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
