Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
