i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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