If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
