Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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