I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
