guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize