Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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