White coat. Heels.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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