He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
