who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
