one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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