How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
smell my finger.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
