At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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