I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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