don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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