so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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