Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
