don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
