Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
