just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize