why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
