What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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