Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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