I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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