Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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