i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
