you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
