WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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