grandma shit on top of the toilet
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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