This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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