i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dignity is for republicans.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
