If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize