talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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