it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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