That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize