Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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