If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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