Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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