the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
