We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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