i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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