am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
