Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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