I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
