Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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