PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
