you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
