There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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